Summary

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the The Sirens of Titan, this summary is intended to familiarize you with the novel.

The novel begins on earth with the life of Malachi Constant, the wealthiest and rashest person on earth. The entire Constant fortune is based on luck in the stock market. Constant leads a luxurious life where he throws parties, uses women, drinks, does drugs, and is completely apathetic to the progress of the companies he has invested in. Malachi Constant serves as the main character for the entire book.

In the midst of Malachi Constant's life and his current status, the novel also explains the anecdotes of the Rumfoords. Winston Niles Rumfoord and Beatrice Rumfoord were once married. However, years ago, Winston Niles Rumfoord encountered the "chrono-synclastic infundiblum" while traveling his private spaceship out of earth's atmosphere. The "chrono-synclastic infundiblum" allows Mr. Rumfoord to travel through time and space. He can also see the past and future and read minds. Occasionally Mr. Rumfoord will show up on earth with his dog Kazak in the Rumfoord estate through a process known as "materialization." Materializations can be compared to a hanging of the past; a crowd will gather, bring their families, and watch as a source of entertainment. However, no one has ever been allowed to see a materialization because Beatrice Rumfoord does not allow anyone in. This is the case until Mr. Rumfoord demands that she invite Malachi Constant to the next materialization.

In the next materialization, Mr. Rumfoord tells Beatrice and Malachi their future. Beatrice and Malachi are both unhappy about Mr. Rumfoord's prophesies and do everything to avoid their fate even though it is unavoidable. Soon both Beatrice Rumfoord and Malachi Constant are kidnapped and taken to Mars

Mars is in the process of training an army. A majority of the population is controlled by antennas under their skulls. The rest who are not controlled by antennas are the generals in the army who can be trusted. At first there is no clue as to who is controlling everyone on Mars. Everyone on Mars is being trained and prepared for the attack of Earth. However, this attack is meant to be and ends up being a failure. Constant now becomes a man named Unk and a soldier in the army. Winston Niles Rumfoord, the man controlling Mars, set up this attack in order to instill a universal religion known as the Church of God the Utterly Indifferent.

Throughout the story, Unk is desperately trying to find a sense of happiness and a sense of purpose on earth.